Page 24 - Mini-Module 11

Read the passage below which is taken from a management report:
Because of the excessively high level of unemployment in this particular area, and
indeed in the region, it is desirable to consider the possibility of creating an
industrial park in the vicinity of the coastline near enough to the port to allow for
adequate accessibility to those facilities, although it has to be recognised that this
would necessitate cutting through large amounts of agricultural land. This, of
course, may not be politically acceptable and there is bound to be strong
opposition from environmental lobbies and other pressure groups, particularly the
owner occupiers in the area. Nevertheless, unemployment is a distressing problem
and the need to attract industry will almost certainly mean taking some hard
decisions, although every effort should be made to preserve existing amenities and
to protect residents as far as possible through landscaping, otherwise the areas
which currently attract tourism will become less popular and that will affect the
livelihoods of many which can not be offset even with the introduction of new
industrial operations. The whole issue will have to be presented in a persuasive
way to the local population, because strong opposition could affect the regional
development programme and have a considerable impact on the region's
economy which would prevent the opportunity to make inroads into the
unemployment problem insofar as prospective manufacturing industries have time
and time again shown they are sceptical about establishing operations in areas
where local support is not forthcoming.

How clear is that extract to you? You may have some idea of the message, but
you probably found some parts confusing. The last sentence in particular loses
the reader because there are so many ideas. Now calculate the fog index.

Is the same information contained in the passage below?
Something must be done about the high level of unemployment in the area. An
industrial park should be set up and it should be near the coast with easy access to
the port. This will mean losing some agricultural land and there is bound to be
strong opposition. Since local support is needed to attract new businesses,
residents must be convinced that the scheme is right. This may be done by keeping
amenities and making sure the area remains visually attractive. This is also vital
from the tourism point of view. Tourists provide a source of living for many locals.

Do you find that easier to read and assimilate? You should do, because it uses
shorter words and shorter sentences. It also takes the key ideas and
condenses them. Now calculate the fog index for this passage.

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