Page 26 - Mini-Module 11

Task Three

REDUCE THE FOG INDEX
Rewrite the passage below and reduce the Fog Index to 30 or less:
When the board met earlier in the month there was a demand that the
decision had to be reached by 11.00 on 24 March as representatives from
the school sponsoring body were meeting with potential contractors on 25
March and would obviously require a firm commitment as to whether the
company wanted to be involved in the project. With a general tightening of
available funds, the company cannot afford to withhold its commitment to
projects which may not be very profitable because of local authority
spending controls, because there would be the imminent danger of
redundancy for a large proportion, maybe even a quarter, of the
employees, if the company were not able to secure contracts with foreign
clients, although they invariably offer substantially higher profits. New
equipment would be necessary if the company were to commit itself to
this project with the local authority, but it would at least make provision
for increased security of job tenure for some time.
You probably gathered that the ideas were fairly simple, but the passage
tried to make them sound difficult! This is a common phenomenon in
reports. You probably took out the key ideas and just wrote them out in
simple sentences, but in a logical sequence. When you have done the
exercise, you can look at the version below. It is not the 'right' answer but
just one way of keeping simple things simple!
The contract with the local authority is not as profitable as a contract with
foreign clients. It also means buying new equipment. Despite this, it offers job
security for workers in the short term. The company has to decide if it wishes
to be involved. In its meeting earlier this month, the board was told that the
decision must be reached by 11.00 on 24 March. This would be taken to the
meeting with the local authority the next day.
The index for the first passage is 73. We hope you at least managed to
improve on that! The second passage's index has been reduced to 23.

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