Page 32 - Beginning Principal Booklet

6. Own the feedback. It can be easy to say to the other person “You
are.....”, suggesting that you are offering a universally agreed opinion
about that person. In fact, all we are entitled to give is our own
experience of that person at a particular time. It is also important that
we take responsibility for the feedback we offer. Beginning the feedback
with “I” or “In my opinion”, is a way of avoiding the impression of being
the giver of ‘cosmic judgments’ about the other person.
7. Leave the recipient with a choice. Feedback that demands change or is
imposed on the other person may invite resistance, and is
inconsistent with a belief in each of us being autonomous.
Effective feedback does not involve telling somebody how they must be
to suit us. Skilled feedback offers people information about themselves
in a way which leaves them with a choice about whether to act on it or
not, and how. It can help to examine the consequences of any decision
to change or not to change, but does not normally involve prescribing a
particular course of action (although this may sometimes be necessary
when acting as a Principal Coach).
8. Think what it says about you. Feedback is likely to say as much about
the giver as the receiver. It will say a good deal about our values and
what we focus on in others. If we listen to the feedback we give others
we should thereby learn about ourselves. If we can also show that this
learning is taking place it will, in turn, improve the quality of our
feedback.

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