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Many parents are eager to make their kids "Lead the race right at starting line". Others say that we should expect children to "Win at the finishing line" instead. No matter what the focus is, "To win" is still what parents concern most.
Students, parents or teachers are seldom happy now. Students are somehow oppressed by unnecessary learning activities and endless evaluation. Parents arrange excessive preparation for their children before sending them to the competitive arena. Teachers, on the other hand, become workers along the production line helplessly.
Our society emphasizes economic growth, using monetary wealth as the measurement of success. The education system is geared to create elites as well as to provide sufficient workforce as social sustainable human resources. This results in intangible competition between schools, fighting for reputation and good student intake, but simultaneously satisfying their "customers". Parents subtly play the "monster or helicopter" role in order that their kids will not lose an inch in the competition. As children have the least right to express, they live in nightmare, lose direction, or suppress their unique development in personality and talent. It is too late for their parents to realize somedays that their children suddenly become depressed, indulgent, cynical or losing interest in everything.
If we really love our children, we should provide good nurturing to these precious gifts from the Lord. We should dare to say no to some of the crazy social norms and parenting strategies.
My young daughter decided to quit further study after completing the secondary education five years ago. She asked for going her own way of living. Facing her stubborn character, we failed to persuade her. We treasured respectful acceptance to her choice, and walked patiently side by side with her with tears in our heart. She tried short-term job-tied training and several full time jobs in the coming two years. All kinds of intricate experiences made her really grow. Finally she made a request to return to formal study again. This year, she attained an honour degree in a program in Visual Communication, major in illustration. She walked her way step by step herself. Today we celebrate with joy and comfort for her achievement.
It is not easy to let go at the right time in the proper way. We insist on giving helpful reminders and encouragement only. We believe that when children can exert their talent, they will naturally become self-confident and enjoy meeting future challenges.
Life should not be graded by success or failure. Even with flaw, life is invaluable, full of new discoveries and exclamations. The metaphor of running a race to describe life has its limitation and should not be over-emphasized.
Servant pastor
Rev. Benedict Shum
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